Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Knock Knock

As many of you know, I decided to go to grad school as a way to act upon my commitment to eliminating the massive health disparities we face in this country. Over the past (almost) four years, I have found that it has been difficult to maintain my resolve. I go to a lecture like Tracy Kidder’s one day, and I am re-inspired. The next, I am obsessing over an upcoming midterm, how competitive I will be for internship, or whether I am liked/valued by my boss. Grad school—the very vehicle for my passion—has instead become a great source of self-doubt. And as a result, I am often stopped from doing what I came here to do in the first place. Not to mention the endless mental anguish I put my lovely husband and friends through. You know it’s true. :)

For the past week or so, I have been preparing a lecture on health disparities for the class I teach. This has been a very powerful exercise for me, as it has helped me to reinvent and recreate my approach to improving the health of those who have largely been let down by the system. I spent hours last weekend on youtube, looking for videos that would help illuminate the points I plan to make in my lecture. Perhaps the most invigorating thing I came across in my youtube adventures was an act from a play by Daniel Beaty, called “Emergence-See.” I can’t stop watching it. Not only does it highlight some of the major social injustices that are, at least in part, responsible for health disparities. But it is a call to action that brings me (and maybe you) to tears. Most importantly, it has helped me to step away from the self-consciousness and self-concern that stop me in my pursuits…and come away with some serious intentionality.

Enjoy.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

I recently came to the sad realization that the health disparity problem in the U.S. is much worse than I realized. 15% of people are now without health insurance. For me, it's a clear sign that for-profit organizations and healthcare are extremely difficult to balance with one another.

Unfortunately it seems the for-profits have had the upper-hand and we now have outrageous healthcare costs to show for it. Sure, we have some of the best care available anywhere in the world, but are we really better off if 15% of the population don't even receive preventative care?

Rufus said...

Oh man, don't even get me started on healthcare costs! Last time I went to the doctor (when I fell out of the tree in my front yard) it cost me $400 and nothing was even broken!!

Unknown said...

"step away from the self-consciousness and self-concern that stop me in my pursuits…and come away with some serious intentionality." thanks for this reminder, kdh. as we have often discussed, grad school can be a long series of opportunities for our internal critic to foster self-doubt...if we allow it to happen. for those of us who are prone to such ruminations, we have to make an effort to keep in mind why we started down this path in the first place, and where we hope it will take us. then, hopefully, all that happens in the middle will be kept in perspective, too.

Reverend Bluejeans said...

Out of the internet endlessly rocking. Out of the madness of youtube's throat. Out of kdh's midnight hour. Over the web wasteland, the fields beyond, where the surfer, leaving their laptop, wanders alone. Barefoot. Through the mystic play of shadows. Twining and twisting as if they were alive...

kdh said...

what beautiful prose reverend bluejeans! i'm touched! thanks for the many thoughtful comments by all. erin, you and i both struggle with that issue, huh? but we can just keep each other in check (like we always do). big ups to rufus for learning how to type. very impressive, i must say. :)